If you found your life purpose, you'd be jumping for joy too. Picture: ThinkStock Source: ThinkStock
WE ALL want it, can't seem to get enough of it and are constantly searching for it when we don't have it.
But when it comes down to it, all you need to be happy is a little bit of meaning. Sound easy? Apparently it is and here's why.
According to psychiatrist and best-selling author Dr George Blair-West, happiness comes down to having a meaningful life and finding a sense of purpose.
But he reckons the problem is people see enjoying what they do as a luxury, despite research showing those who have both meaning and purpose live healthier and longer lives.
Dr Blair-West, who specialises in treating obesity, trauma and relationship issues, said the common underlying factor in all three cases was that people who were unhappy often lacked both these vital ingredients.
The father-of-two said it was also clear life's big questions such as such as who they were and what their purpose was caused people significant anxiety - the trick was just knowing how to find the answers.
In his latest book, The way of the Quest, Dr Blair-West reveals the key role that meaning and purpose play daily in everyday well-being and shows us how to get it.
He told news.com.au the idea for the book came from people who came to see him for the psychological treatment of obesity.
Dr Blair-West said they often found food and eating were the most meaningful thing in their day.
"I realised I needed a more powerful force to compete with the emotional drivers behind their eating," he said.
"But when I spoke to people about finding meaning and purpose I was surprised to find that they typically felt overwhelmed by the prospect and did not appear to want to explore their meaning and purpose.
"This is why people on diets are destined to fail - because you remove what the most meaningful part of their day is about."
He said people who struggled to find meaning and couldn't felt stupid or like a failure and this in turn caused them to be unhappy.
He added meaningful relationships and pursuits often made people happy but even the most in love person could feel unsatisfied at work or vice versa.
Smile life really is that great, even if you don’t know it yet. Source: Supplied
Dr Blair-West whose also wrote Weight Loss for Food Lovers said his latest book, set in the closing of the era of the Knights Templar and inspired by a visit to Mont St Michel off the coast of France, was all about helping people in their quest to find meaning.
Don't have time to read it? Don't worry, here are his seven steps on how to find happiness and keep it.
1. Manage anxiety by recognising how we don't like knowing answers to questions
"It is rare for someone to be able to answer these questions in the first instance," he said.
"For these reason we need to drop the 'ion' and allow it to become a Quest. Quests, by definition are only answered over time."
2. Remind yourself where unhappiness stems from
Dr Blair-West said that whenever people felt unhappy they needed to remind themselves that feelings of unhappiness and despair come from a lack of meaning and purpose.
3. Go back to childhood dreams
He suggests people look back at what they wanted to be when they grew up.
"Then work forward all the way into the future from now - writing down everything you thought of," he said.
"Now, reorder the list based on which one makes you feel good - ignore what your head says at this point."
4. Look back at jobs, projects you enjoyed
"Write down the parts of the activities that you enjoyed doing the most," he said,
"Was it the research work, the teaching, or the team work. Look for projects where the time just flew by."
5. Don't quit your day job
How many of us have been guilty of blaming our jobs for being unhappy?
Well, according to Dr Blair-West, stop and use your energy elsewhere.
"Dare yourself to find three hours a fortnight to spend time working towards doing some of what you have identified from these exercises," he said.
"If you have always wanted to be a photographer, do a course - online if money is an issue.
"Spend the three hours taking photos with whatever camera you have - your phone if necessary."
6. Notice what comes up for you as you do this
Dr Blair-West said it was important people kept going and moved forward.
"If it does nothing for you, go back to steps five and six. Doing something," he said.
"Even if it does not work out, you are moving forward and eliminating things from your list."
7. Don't let fear hold you back
According to the best-selling author fear of change and the unknown were the biggest hindrances holding people back from achieving their purpose and finding happiness.
"At other times, it can be the fear of letting go of dreams that no longer work for you," he said
"While confronting, this is a necessary path towards ultimately finding a way forward. "Remember all learning take you a step closer to ultimately finding your meaning and the purpose that follows from it."
source:news
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